Religion & Relationships

Religion and Relationships. Do two people have to share the same religious beliefs to make their relationship work? And if so who should do the compromising? – the least pious of the pair?

This was the question I asked myself after fighting with Daniel over a Christmas tree. I am not religious in any form or fashion but I’m not atheist either, I believe there’s a higher power and I’m quite content to keep it to just that. I have nothing against people that confirm to a specific spiritual lifestyle – I think its great to have that discipline and faith –I just choose to not share in it.

It would be harder for me to pretend to be something I know I can’t and if going to Church every Sunday and having to forgo my weekend full of beer, Mary Jane, Chinese and lots of sex then count me out. I’m just not ready for a committed relationship with God. Many might view me as a sinner but the weekends are my heaven.

I live by morals – don’t steal, don’t cheat, don’t do anything that you would be ashamed to tell your mom and that’s just good enough for me. So coming back to the Christmas Tree thing – Daniel hates the idea that when we are married I want to have one and do the entire decorations thing ‘we’ll confuse our kids’ according to him since he wants them to be Jewish.

I grew up with a Muslim mother who celebrated Christmas and an atheist father who couldn’t care less and apart from my flaws that didn’t fuck me up in any way possible, if anything it made me more open and more respectful of other people’s beliefs.

I just don’t see why It’s expected that I compromise because I don’t have a religion- how did not having a firm belief in a belief system that has divided people and spewed wars across the world for centuries, make my opinion any less important?

Why is it so important that people in relationships share the same religion? We all can’t be the same race and that’s fine with most civilized people in the world but as soon as we get to the God talk we become medieval witch hunters and that’s just too bad because I’m not ready to be burned at the stake.

Maybe it is just me but Christmas is more of a cultural and family thing for me as it is for most Guyanese.
(And this may be the only time i say this) I am happy that I live in a country where having a Christmas tree and those cheap $200 fairy lights on someone’s veranda doesn’t automatically mean they’re Christian – it means they’re diverse, they’re open minded.

Christmas is so commercialised it can be hard to escape all the hype that comes with the season but all I want is to go shopping for presents for people that I love and care about, its my time to show them how much their support has meant to me throughout the year – really is that asking too much?

I have about a year to change Daniel’s mind about the Christmas thing and if I’m not successful then we cant marry. Its as simple as that – asking me to compromise my tradition and the ONE thing that I hold dear to my heart is asking me too much.

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