This was the question I asked myself after fighting with Daniel over a Christmas tree. I am not religious in any form or fashion but I’m not atheist either, I believe there’s a higher power and I’m quite content to keep it to just that. I have nothing against people that confirm to a specific spiritual lifestyle – I think its great to have that discipline and faith –I just choose to not share in it.

It would be harder for me to pretend to be something I know I can’t and if going to Church every Sunday and having to forgo my weekend full of beer, Mary Jane, Chinese and lots of sex then count me out. I’m just not ready for a committed relationship with God. Many might view me as a sinner but the weekends are my heaven.

I live by morals – don’t steal, don’t cheat, don’t do anything that you would be ashamed to tell your mom and that’s just good enough for me. So coming back to the Christmas Tree thing – Daniel hates the idea that when we are married I want to have one and do the entire decorations thing ‘we’ll confuse our kids’ according to him since he wants them to be Jewish.

I grew up with a Muslim mother who celebrated Christmas and an atheist father who couldn’t care less and apart from my flaws that didn’t fuck me up in any way possible, if anything it made me more open and more respectful of other people’s beliefs.

I just don’t see why It’s expected that I compromise because I don’t have a religion- how did not having a firm belief in a belief system that has divided people and spewed wars across the world for centuries, make my opinion any less important?

Why is it so important that people in relationships share the same religion? We all can’t be the same race and that’s fine with most civilized people in the world but as soon as we get to the God talk we become medieval witch hunters and that’s just too bad because I’m not ready to be burned at the stake.

Maybe it is just me but Christmas is more of a cultural and family thing for me as it is for most Guyanese.
(And this may be the only time i say this) I am happy that I live in a country where having a Christmas tree and those cheap $200 fairy lights on someone’s veranda doesn’t automatically mean they’re Christian – it means they’re diverse, they’re open minded.

Christmas is so commercialised it can be hard to escape all the hype that comes with the season but all I want is to go shopping for presents for people that I love and care about, its my time to show them how much their support has meant to me throughout the year – really is that asking too much?

I have about a year to change Daniel’s mind about the Christmas thing and if I’m not successful then we cant marry. Its as simple as that – asking me to compromise my tradition and the ONE thing that I hold dear to my heart is asking me too much.

Funny enough I became one of those horrible persons in management that I hated so much and I still do.  Its weird how your perspective changes so easily when you switch places.  I began to see everything through new eyes; no longer were the managers snobs but the subordinates (having  been one myself) were always screwing up, always absent from work for frivolous reasons – since when did your grandmother’s funeral become more important than your job?

Then it hit me – I was one of them , I was hated just the same way I hated them and for all good reasons. I lost myself somewhere in the power struggle, in the dog eat dog world I worked in. My job description called for me to be sympathetic much like a counselor but I became more insensitive. It was like the more problems the employees had the more it was less important and soon enough none of that mattered to me any longer.

Smartly enough I never showed my displeasure much, I recognized what I had become and went to all lengths to make it right. Eventually I became known for my efficiency rather than my heartless demeanor.

Just when I thought I was in the perfect job and everything was going great I was thrown a curve ball.  Seems my job had become so simple in the eyes of my bosses that they figured anyone off the street could do it and that’s what they did – pulled someone off their entry level position to take up a spot with me in the same position that had once required at least a first degree when I entered the department.

Before you go there; no I’m not upset that I have someone else in the same position as myself but I am (well I was) upset that persons who have a longer tenure with the company and are way more qualified were passed over for what clearly seems like favoritism. So it was on that note that I decided to quit my job- this was just a drop in the ocean of disasters to follow the company and the persons making all the screwed up decisions.

After all this the one thing I learnt was that I never learned! I kept hoping that things would get better that persons were trustworthy but I was proved wrong.

Having gone through that and all its drama I am positive that I can function in any job with reptiles as my co workers and the devil himself as my boss and that would go over better than all of this did.

Seriously this hype over false hair, nails and godforbid eyelashes has become crazy! I work in a predominantly female company and at least 65% of the employees buy their face,nails and hair.

I love makeup- i won’t lie, especially the dramatic kind that only performers can pull off, but some people dont realise its called STAGE makeup for a reason, so unless these co-workers of mine are not starring in the new pirates of the caribbean, then that Johnny Depp – i’m stoned-gothic- eye liner is really not for an 8 hr working day. And if  the girls seem to think it looks great just ask anyone who has to talk to them and ends up staring as most of the black gunk settles in their eyes and their tear ducts start running black water, like something out of a Hitchcock movie.

But if all that weren’t bad enough I know these women are not hygenic, for one most of them look like they just had to touch up the black gunk from the  first application, its like something that is layered on so consistently that they can no longer tell what their eyes are supposed to look like!

Now the eyelashes, i can understand if you’re doing this for a big event, a photoshoot, a wedding where you want to look your best for photo -ops, but please please why are there women running around GT with these things permanently aixed to their corneas?  A co- worker of mine wears hers everyday, a sign that she cannot possibly be washing her face, unless she wakes up at 4am everyday to apply them because i know for a fact they are cumbersome to apply but my honest guess is that she sleeps with them as i’ve heard her saying she almost forgot and touched her eye….. WHY would i want to wear something that prevents me from having contact with my face?

Now coming to the hair, wigs can be hot but why do women think they can pull of that Mary J. blonde? NO NO…Its just sad  not to mention disturbing to see a gurl black as tamarind seed wearing a full head of platinum locks whipping in the wind. Like the host of Glamour encouraging more women to buy their own hair and then proclaiming its yours  if you bought it…bought and hair?  sounds like an oxymorn, but then again so is the host.

Coming to the nails, no one can stop women from wanting beautiful nails, but they should be natural looking, no? From the time that we can spot your nailbed rising upward like baking dough, its fake. I have seen some really pretty natural nails that have been ruined by all that ghetto airbrush art- why cant a simple manicure cut it? let your nails speak not your nailpolish!

Now coming to hygenie again, not only are some of these nails way to long to type with, what about washing your ass and other delicate parts in the shower? guess they dont!  not only are these pretty girls nasty but they’re also lazy- think any of them would scrub a pot with those talons?!

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but sometimes we’re not really sure what horrors lurk beneath!

So he keeps asking mundane questions, i politely answer him until i just cant take it anymore and i just start giving one word murmers- he finally gets the hint but then is too dumb to stop- leans over in my ear to ask me if he can ask a question, i think sure why not you’ve been doing all 20mins without caring so whats one more jab at me and then there he goes- asking me the unthinkable – ” are you having your period” – WAT THE FUCK?

I basically told Jorge that i dont need to be having my period to be a bitch to him, it just comes naturally when he walks in the room and shoots shit at me.

I don’t get this guy he now thinks that my frend and i are wearing the same clothes to work – simultaneously- how the hell thats possible is only in jorge’s mind.

My workplace is nothing short of interesting, i deal with such losers on a daily basis and this one guy in particular just takes the cake. For the purpose of this i’ll refer to him as Jorge.

Jorge seems to be your average guy, average looks, personality,smarts etc ( although he would much have you believe him to be a rocket scientist- no kidding) The only thing that isn’t so average about him is the fact that this guy CAN NOT and DOES NOT take one fucking hint.  I swear NOTHING moves this guy.

I have been resisting his advances in the nicest ways possible but now i just gotta be a bitch- he knows i have a man, i have said that umpteen times but he just refuses to give up and this has nothing to do with me being hot ( which i am;)..) , he runs after as many women as he think he can and the part that REALLY pisses me off if his psycho-analysing every fucking thing.

If i incline my head to the right when i speak Jorge is going to make that a topic and then try to break me down into being emotionally subservient and all sorts of bullshit – excuse me but who the hell talks like that?  especially a so- called hetrosexual who wants to get in my pants- does he think thats gonna appeal to my ‘softer side’?……..FUCK!

Talking to him is like being in a conversation with an attention seeking woman ( was that redundant?..) anyhow he takes over the entire conversation and the second you try to get a word in edgewise he snaps and says things like ‘ no no… let me finish….’….’ u dont understand what i mean’….. Of course i dont understand what you mean, you’re a fucking ASSS!

I know women have been trying to use psychology on men for years( more than often without any hint of success) and here comes this little bugger thinking he can win one over on me? PLEASE!

He’s not even a metrosexual as Stolid usually classifies them, this one i feel in particular hasn’t even got the balls to be that- i don’t know there is just something off about this coolie boy..

Doesn’t this guy realise how fucking retarded he sounds, the only reason i watched the show a total of 7 mins was to time how many new sentences he could form after the repetitions!

moving on….new blog on the loose..UNTOLD MALAIKA…think i spelt that wrong, http://untoldmalaika.blogspot.com/

it appears to be full of hodge podge interesting things, will link that sometime later. Im watching the progression of some of these blogs( being new myself)..

Work is a constant battle, should i just sit in my office and take the shit from my superiors ( who are a bunch of airheads just so you know) or should i ‘bruk out’ and tell them all off, do a dramatic cuss out & walk out on them like i’m the shit….

…….on second thought i would just be screwed, i won’t deny that i really do need this job, not in the financial aspect but just as a matter of proving my self worth- if just for me .

The people I work with will drive me insane if the job itself doesn’t. There are all types of crazy personalities, from the stern (i-can-do-everything-myself-dont-piss-me-off-) supervisors to the ‘I-dont-know-a-shit-but-will-sleep-with-anyone-to-get-somewhere ‘ women and (ahem) men.

Enough of my complaining, i need to get back into the social world…really connect and then perhaps i will have something of consequence to blog about.

One will be titled “BATTY & POE”…well maybe not..but its based on the love of an oversized girl by her very opposite counterpart…..BRACE UR SELVES….actually…dont.

OH…i supposed to say something nah….